You can overlook minor indiscretions but it is someone's secrecy you can't forgive very easily or the fact they've been going behind your back. The more trust you thought there was in this relationship the deeper you feel you've been betrayed. If a partner can't understand why you see it this way, you aren't going to resolve this until you talk. A heart to heart means just the two of you, so be sure to leave a third person who is always interfering, out of it.

Finding solutions to joint problems immediately as they arise helps keep you both motivated. Conversely, a partner's reluctance to face up to difficulties you should both be dealing with will eventually frustrate you. This could result in you drifting apart with you becoming more self sufficient. If you both want to stay together, it's important you each accept equal responsibility for anything you take on jointly.

Don't get into the habit of doing what you think others expect of you, rather than thinking for yourself. You might want to please your boss, a lecturer or an authority figure but staying in their good books should not mean that whenever they say jump, you say how high? It is time to figure out for yourself what you want to do and where you want to go. Let people see you have a mind of your own, even those who seem to think they are above you.

If a loved one is acting out of character there could be an underlying reason for them behaving this way. A partner who is seeking attention from other people may be sending you a message that there is something missing in your relationship. A friend who deliberately ignores your emails and text messages is hoping to make you feel guilty about something that recently happened between you. If you think they're over reacting you could always ignore them too.

A loved one, housemate or partner might complain they aren't seeing enough of you. You can't understand why they feel that way. When you're at home you spend plenty time around each other so what is it they're asking for? A change of scene and activity is what they really need and they want to share this with you. Rather than asking, tell them you're taking them out for the day and you will make their day.

Give a friend a week or so to calm down if they're upset about an incident that's going to change their life in a big way. It wouldn't be reasonable to expect them to continue with their usual routines when they're going through this kind of emotional upheaval. Make it easier for them by making alternative arrangements and shield them from prying eyes. There is a lot you can do to help them through this.

If someone really cares for you, how much you both make will not be an issue. A partner who seems to resent the fact you earn more than them, or you don't earn as much, has their priorities all wrong. If money is the only thing they care about, they don't deserve your affection. Anyone who is with you because of your income or who adds up the cost of everything they give you cares more about money than they do about you.

You need to speak to your partner or another loved one about an issue that is starting to come between you. If you look back on the past, you will see you've gone through a similar situation with someone else. If you were able to deal with this successfully, you might use similar tactics now. On the other hand if you could have done it better, this is your chance to prove to yourself you can learn from your past mistakes.

Anyone who is trying to deal with their insecurities by attempting to control you will soon be heading for the exit door. This won't be voluntarily either as it will be you who insists they leave as you take control of them. You understand there are reasons behind their behaviour but these are issues they need to sort out on their own. Maybe once they take control of their emotions rather than try to control you, you will have them back.

The signs are obvious: someone's taking far more out of a relationship than they ever intend to put back into it. Since they will continue to leach off you for as long as you let them, isn't it time to put your foot down? Any relationship that brings unhappiness to one or both of you should be assessed for its value and its long term potential. If you really want to stay together, some counselling may help you work through your differences.

Maybe on reflection someone will realise they have been acting unreasonably in the past. So after approaching a friend, neighbour or colleague with evidence to back up why you feel they've not been treating you fairly, give them a chance to think about it. An immediate response won't be necessary because you know there is no argument against what you are saying. What you would like most of all is a sincere apology.

You just feel like a replacement for someone's ex when they still seem tied emotionally with the past. A new partner gives you the impression they would jump at the chance, should their ex suggest they get back together again. Or a neighbour could be using your friendship to get over a romantic disappointment but you have other commitments with other people. The situation will continue until you find the courage to suggest they don't involve you in their emotional problems.